At the behest of Kendrick, I’m writing one of these mug reviews. I expect that my paycheque and per diem are in the mail — until then, please enjoy this review of a mug that I found on my desk.
Not to be outdone by that b-ballin’ hipster Nick, I thought I’d share one of my favorite mugs today.
I’m the type who tends to attach needless sentimental value to inanimate objects, typically out of a certain sense of nostalgia. Of that collection, the vintage Calgary Flames mug is perhaps one of my most cherished items.
The year was 1989. I, barely past my third birthday, had little understanding of the concept of hockey. But on that crisp Spring day, seeing the adulation that filled my father’s spirits as he watched his red-and-gold-jerseyed heroes lift the Stanley Cup, I knew there must have been something special about these guys.
I’m uncertain as to the exact origins of the mug, short of the fact that it’s likely one of the many pieces of Flames paraphernalia that dad loaded up on to celebrate their win. It came into my possession in recent years, however, much like a father would pass on a prized pair of cufflinks to his son on his wedding day. Actually, I think I just found it in a box of extra stuff my mom didn’t need any more when I moved out. No matter.
The mug itself, much like Doug Gilmour’s series-winning goal, shoots to score, and does so without hesitation. It’s got an impressive, solid weight to it, with enough heft to plant itself firmly on your desk without being so offensively large as to become a burden. Twenty years of wear have slightly tarnished its once-pristine polished surface, but it still maintains a decent sheen and cleanliness that prevents any nasty porcelain deposits in your beverage of choice.
The real hat trick, though, comes in the handle. As I had alluded to in my previous review, the ring is a perfectly snug fit for three fingers, leaving my pinky available to do as it pleases. This offers optimal balance and tilt control, as I can use the free digit to support the base of the mug from below, grip the sides with pinky and thumb to provide extra support, or waggle it about to boldly display my free-spirited nature to fellow mug enthusiasts.
Simply put, there’s nothing bad that I can say about this mug. It’s granted decades of proud service to my family’s name, and hasn’t let up on its winning ways, unlike the team whose banner it flies. In these dark times, it provides promise that perhaps some day, I’ll get to experience the same rush of joy that so many southern Albertans felt in 1989, and until then, it’s a perfect receptable for my hopes, dreams, and sludge-black coffee.
5/5
As much as I risk sounding like a shoe-fetishizing, window-shopping female, a large part of the New York experience is indeed the shopping. With the amount of sneaker boutiques and gadget stores that exist around every street corner littered with Halal vendors and, well, litter, it’s hard to not come back home with a couple of cool new digs.
Given that this past July was my second trip to NY, I had a couple of places that I wanted to revisit — among those places was the NBA Store. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m all over anything sports-related, and I was impressed by my first go-round of the store back in 2006. While most of the items that I wanted to purchase there were well out of my travel budget, I did spot at least one or two things that I could reasonably afford, and cram into a suitcase — notably, the NBA freezer mug.
Now, I’ve been duped by freezer mugs in the past. On a couple of occasions, I felt proud (or something) to be the owner of a mug that could make my drink cold, but that I wasn’t required to make ice for (because I’m lazy). During every initial test run, however, I’ve come away completely disillusioned. While the structure itself emerges cold, as it should be, the non-toxic gel lining inside the frame (which is supposed to crystallize and turn white under freezing conditions) always more or less remains in its original state.
Looking at this immaculate basketball-shaped chalice, though, I somehow felt that this time would be different. I could hear Marv Albert’s voice in my head exclaiming, “YES!”
After an initial test run, it was the same shit all over again. I’d been had.
The simple fact of the matter here is that gel-based freezer mugs don’t work as advertised. Unfortunately, I can’t boast any sort of scientific explanation as to why the gel inside sucks it hard; just be aware that it does.
In regards to actual usage, the mug is bulkier than standard models, which can make holding the mug feel somewhat precarious at times if holding the mug around the base, rather than the handle, is your thing. As well, because the mug protrudes outward from the rim, as opposed to falling straight down in the typical cylindrical fashion, spillage becomes an occasional concern when actually drinking from the apparatus. Not good for those who drink coffee and/or red wine.
Beyond the obvious side-effects, though, the NBA freezer mug has minimal positive qualities, and certainly not enough to redeem itself completely. The most obvious thing the mug has going for it is that it hemorrhages novelty value. Having an exterior that reasonably resembles a regulation basketball would make collectors of NBA-related trinkets eat this shit up. The surface of the orange panels are rough enough to give drinkers a feel similar to the outside of a basketball, short of actually making the mug out of synthetic leather.
While I still do value the novelty of having a basketball-shaped mug on my desk, those who value practicality will not take nearly as much pleasure out of it.
Rating: 2/5
Residing on my desk is a fairly wonderful monkey mug. White porcelain adorned with a pale banana background and three happy chimps riding bananas, this one has become a pen caddy since the handle is hanging on like a 12-year-old’s last baby tooth. I’ve glued it more times than I like to admit.
I love this mug. It’s overstated and fairly ridiculous; it’s something that a peppy elementary school teacher would drink from; it’s awesome. I got it from a friend a few years ago. We found it in the back of one of her cupboards as she packed up to move. Her inclination was to pitch it. I had to have it.
Honestly, I wish it was still safe to use as a liquid delivery system, but I fear for the handle. I used to drink out of it when I worked in a newsroom in Halifax. I got more than a few odd looks whenever I showed up to the kitchenette with it, but that was always kind of the point.
You might say I’m bananas for this one!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Ahhhhhhhh. Good pun.
3.75/5 (points deducted for no longer being used for beverages)
Mug Critique is a not-at-all regular feature where Mike reviews the mug from which he’s currently drinking coffee.
Despite the lack of a blog post detailing my exploits, I was…
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Welcome to Mug Reviews, a community aggregation platform for reviews and critiques of our coffee receptacles. We look forward to many exciting thoughts and comments on our ceramic friends, the quintessential companions on the office commando’s tool belt.
