“From Downtown… No Good!”: The NBA freezer mug

As much as I risk sounding like a shoe-fetishizing, window-shopping female, a large part of the New York experience is indeed the shopping. With the amount of sneaker boutiques and gadget stores that exist around every street corner littered with Halal vendors and, well, litter, it’s hard to not come back home with a couple of cool new digs.

Given that this past July was my second trip to NY, I had a couple of places that I wanted to revisit — among those places was the NBA Store. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m all over anything sports-related, and I was impressed by my first go-round of the store back in 2006. While most of the items that I wanted to purchase there were well out of my travel budget, I did spot at least one or two things that I could reasonably afford, and cram into a suitcase — notably, the NBA freezer mug.

Now, I’ve been duped by freezer mugs in the past. On a couple of occasions, I felt proud (or something) to be the owner of a mug that could make my drink cold, but that I wasn’t required to make ice for (because I’m lazy). During every initial test run, however, I’ve come away completely disillusioned. While the structure itself emerges cold, as it should be, the non-toxic gel lining inside the frame (which is supposed to crystallize and turn white under freezing conditions) always more or less remains in its original state.

Looking at this immaculate basketball-shaped chalice, though, I somehow felt that this time would be different. I could hear Marv Albert’s voice in my head exclaiming, “YES!”

After an initial test run, it was the same shit all over again. I’d been had.

The simple fact of the matter here is that gel-based freezer mugs don’t work as advertised. Unfortunately, I can’t boast any sort of scientific explanation as to why the gel inside sucks it hard; just be aware that it does.

In regards to actual usage, the mug is bulkier than standard models, which can make holding the mug feel somewhat precarious at times if holding the mug around the base, rather than the handle, is your thing. As well, because the mug protrudes outward from the rim, as opposed to falling straight down in the typical cylindrical fashion, spillage becomes an occasional concern when actually drinking from the apparatus. Not good for those who drink coffee and/or red wine.

Beyond the obvious side-effects, though, the NBA freezer mug has minimal positive qualities, and certainly not enough to redeem itself completely. The most obvious thing the mug has going for it is that it hemorrhages novelty value. Having an exterior that reasonably resembles a regulation basketball would make collectors of NBA-related trinkets eat this shit up. The surface of the orange panels are rough enough to give drinkers a feel similar to the outside of a basketball, short of actually making the mug out of synthetic leather.

While I still do value the novelty of having a basketball-shaped mug on my desk, those who value practicality will not take nearly as much pleasure out of it.

Rating: 2/5